- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee bios
| Location | Washington, DC. |
|---|---|
| Wedding Date | October 6, 2009 |
In one sense, NotFroofy and I were introduced in the most old-fashioned of ways: a mutual friend introduced us. The modern twist was that the introduction was online, by a friend who had met me in person but knew NotFroofy only online. At the time, NotFroofy lived in the UK and I live in the US. NotFroofy and I instant messaged for a few months before she came over, first to visit and then to stay.
On July 31, 2008, Massachusetts opened up same-sex marriage to out-of-state couples. I didn't even know about this for a couple of days, until NotFroofy told me about it. At that point, I started thinking seriously about asking her. After all, we had already been together for nearly eight years, and knew we wanted to be together for life.
However, marriage is still complicated for same-sex couples. Neither the federal government nor our home state of Maryland recognized it at the time. (Maryland finally recognized it a few months after we were married.) One of the ironic effects of this was that same-sex couples from our state who got married could never get divorced. You can only get divorced in your state of domicile, and if that state doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, it won't issue a same-sex divorce. In some ways, I feared that we would have all the responsibilities of marriage, with none of the legal rights.
I still wanted to marry NotFroofy. My feeling was that we are committed to each other and are part of each other's family. I wanted some legal recognition of that fact, even though we could not get the full legal recognition that others have. She is not just my roommate or my friend; after eight years together, I wanted to be able to call her my wife.
I knew she wanted to be with me, but I was not sure how she would feel about the legal complications involved. I wanted to keep the question casual, so she would not feel that saying no would impair our relationship.
So I was really nervous. She could see I was tense, but she didn't know what why. She kept wondering whether I was mad at her over something, because I was acting so strangely. I finally sat down with her on the bed, and managed to get the question out. Nope, not down on one knee, no big dinner, no ring, no sentimental location, just, "Would you like to get married?"
She was thrilled, said yes immediately, and couldn't believe I would even doubt her response. But I have the feeling that if I'd tried to do some big lead-up, I never would have been able to get the words out at all.
We never did have engagement rings; neither of us really wanted one. It always amuses me when people think you have to have an engagement ring to have a proposal. We're now married; does this mean we were never engaged?
The two dresses hanging together before the wedding:
Our dresses on us:
My daughter, who was our maid of honor, ordered a custom-made dress from Viet Nam for her maid of honor dress for another wedding. When it came, she discovered it was poorly made, unlined, and generally unsuitable. However, a friend of hers was able to take the material and remake it into a whole new dress. She wore it as a maid of honor at her friend's wedding. Since we had only one female attendant and she didn't need to match anyone, we told her she could just wear the same dress for our wedding.
Ok, not really a groomsman as we didn't have a groom, but he definitely wasn't a bridesmaid!
The dude of honor was my son, a computer geek. This is the only suit he owns, and since there were no other male attendants, we just let him wear it.
For ceremony, by Jenn, 781-325-5934:
For reception back in DC, by Nena's Special Occasions Hair and Make-Up:
The one NotFroofy gave me was inherited from her grandmother back in Wales. I managed to find a matching one for her on eBay UK.
NotFroofy had 1980s vintage Stuart Weitzman silk and lace bridal boots she found on eBay:
Mine weren't as exotic, but with size 11AAAA feet, I was glad just to find something comfortable and bridal:
Mine was an ivory fingertip Symphony Bridal 3000VL:
NotFroofy's was an ivory elbow-length David's Bridal 595. Because NotFroofy is quite a bit shorter than I was, the bottoms of the veils were at about the same height.
Our bouquet. NotFroofy and I had identical ones, except that I carried mine on my right arm and she carried hers on her left.
Maid of Honor's bouquet:
Framing was by Jo-Ann Fabric and Crafts of Woodbridge, VA.
We used DIY uplighting, paper lanterns, backlit menus and signs, and centerpieces with candles to spice up our venue (a converted warehouse with no windows and black walls):
DIY photo backdrop stand (directions for making it at this link):
Photo from the DIY "photobooth":
Swing dancing to Leonard Cohen's "Dance Me to the End of Love"
Prelude: Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven
Prelude: Cantata 156 - Bach
Prelude: Nocturne in E flat major Op. 9 # 2 - Chopin
Processional: Air, from Water Music - Handel
Bridal Processional: La Rejouissance (Music For the Royal Fireworks) - Handel
Ketubah Signing: Dmitri Shostakovich - Waltz 2 from Jazz Suite 2
Ketubah Signing: Dmitri Shostakovich - Waltz 1 from Jazz Suite 2
Ketubah Signing: Dmitri Shostakovich - Lyrical Waltz from Jazz Suite 2
Recessional: Spring, from Four Seasons - Vivaldi
Postlude: Allegro from Water Music - Handel
Postlude: Sonata in C Major K545 - Mozart, 1st Movement
Postlude: Sonata in C Major K545 - Mozart, 2nd Movement
Postlude: Sonata in C Major K545 - Mozart, 3rd Movement
NotFroofy made our wedding cake. The cake had four layers. The bottom one was dark chocolate cake with chocolate ganache filling and vanilla butter cream icing. The second was lemon cake with raspberry mousse filling and lemon butter cream icing. The third was sour cream spice cake with pecans and sour cream frosting. The top layer was the traditional British fruit cake with marzipan and royal icing, which we saved for our anniversary.
I made the backlit menu for the cake, which told our guests what flavors there were.
Links are to my reviews.
Services and Venues
Officiant
Ceremony venue
Temple Shir Tikvah, Winchester, MA
Reception venue
Legal Sea Foods, Burlington, MA
Accommodations
Ketubah artist
Ketubah framing
Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft, Woodbridge, VA
Mezuzah from shards of wedding glass
Alterations
Estee Livioco, Gaithersburg, MD
Florist
Pondview Florist, Winchester, MA
Photographer
William ("Bill") Bray, Portrait New England, Leominster, MA
Photo sharing
Reception musician
Dance lessons
Hair and make-up
Nena's Special Occasions Hair and Make-Up, Washington, DC
Wedding maps
Registries
Paper Products
Invitations
Thank you cards
Photo sharing cards
Return address stamps
Postage
Envelope cancellation
Other Products
Bridal gowns
La Bella Bridal Boutique, Occoquan, VA
Veils
La Bella Bridal Boutique, Occoquan, VA
Tiaras
Hair flower
Shoes
Jewelry
Opera gloves
Garters
eBay seller Trent Valley Mercantile
Glass for breaking
Kippot and kippah clips
Reception food
Dancing shoes
Linens
Wholesale Wedding Chair Covers
Chair sashes
Plates
Flatware
Drinking glasses
Champagne glasses
Paper lanterns
Paper lantern lighting (LEDs)
Paper lantern lighting (batteries)
Paper lantern lighting (bulbs)
Westinghouse Stick-Up Light Bulbs
Centerpieces (candle holders and mirrors)
Centerpieces (candles)
Centerpieces (acrylic diamonds)
Card box
Uplighting
Freeze-dried rose petals
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
