Weddingbee bios

I thought I'd touch on an aspect of my relationship with The Mr. that is a bit unique. The fact that we were good friends for about 2 1/2 years before we started dating, and roommates for about 1 1/2 years prior. Now, maybe some of you out there share this with us, but for those of you who don't, I'll share my perspective.

How we got together: Nothing dramatic, no sweeping me off my feet, no "Want to go see a movie?", just the two of us, sitting on a couch in our house we shared with 3 other roommates, watching TV and having a couple drinks, and he kissed me (This was a whole week after I'd dumped my loser ex.). From that kiss on, we were an item, and never felt the need to make a big announcement, or define our relationship. It was as easy as that, friends one minute, a couple the next.

(oldest picture I have of the two of us, taken at Thanksgiving 2003, about 7 months after we started dating. Sorry for the poor quality, it's a scan.)

Our first date: I don't think we ever really had one! The first time we went out after we started dating was for my 21st birthday, with other friends, and it was only 4 days after we got together. He took care of me, and saved my straws for me from my first 5 drinks as a legal 21 year old, which I still have in a drawer somewhere, tied together with a ribbon.

(second oldest picture of the two of us I have in digital format, taken right after we moved to California in summer 2004)

Our life together: Really, not much has changed from back in the days when we were just friends in college. We still tell each other almost everything, but can also say it all with just a look or a gesture. We fully accept each other's flaws, and appreciate that we're both quite different. We know it only makes us stronger, because our strengths and weaknesses cancel each other out when we're together. I still know that his bathroom will never be clean (unless I clean it!), like it was never clean when we shared our first apartment together sophomore year in college. He knows that I will forever be a pack-rat, and "always be prepared" like a boy scout, but he will always appreciate that when he needs something, I will have it stashed away somewhere in our messy house. I love that he always asks me if he can get me anything when he gets up, and he loves it that I try to always buy groceries that he likes. He pays all our rent, and I pay all our other communal expenses, and it all equals out very close to us both contributing the same amount, given the percentage difference between our incomes. We think about these things, as partners in life, and have for a long time.

(us now, taken in Sonoma, CA in late June. God we look old! But I still like to do the knee-pop picture pose, and he still likes to wear Adidas sandals!)

It's because of all of this that I knew I would marry him about a month after we started dating. And it's also part of why we've waited so long to tie the knot; not much is really going to change from the life we've lived together the past 6 1/2 years, so getting married is really more of an excuse for us to throw a big party. Sure, over the coming many years together I know we will have to deal with struggles related to family, money and death. I know there will be tough times, things will happen that will be harder to deal with than we've faced before. But there will also be great times, better than we've ever experienced, and I know that we will take on both the good and bad as a team, as we have been doing for so long already. Maybe one day we will even have a real fight, but I doubt it. We've still never had a "storm out of the room and slam the door" type of fight, where feelings are hurt and people go days without speaking to each other. When it comes down to our disagreements, we always discuss the pros and cons, both sides of our opinions, and we're down to earth and logical enough that we always are able to come to an agreement (albeit with maybe some rolling of eyes and tongue sticking out along the way).

All of this is why I'm such a proponent of living together before you get married. There's no better way to get to know your partner, and it is so wonderful to share your day to day life with the person you love. I know that is why it's becoming more and more common these days to "shack up" before marriage, and I'm so glad we don't have to live in a society where this practice is shunned.

I guess this is a somewhat random post, but I just wanted to share my perspective on the unique beginnings to our relationship. Is there anyone else out there who knew their fiance for a while before dating, and do you too think that ultimately made you a stronger pair?

Here is the story of how The Mr. and I got engaged:

(At our friend's wedding summer 2008, photo by The Mr's dad)

We'd been friends for about 2.5 years and roommates for 1.5 years before we even started dating back in college. Fast forward 5.5 years from when we got together, and imagine us on a Halloween/The Mr's birthday weekend in Vegas. After surprising him with a limo ride to Casa di Amore for dinner and then tickets to Fantasy at the Luxor (a, cough, "adult" show), he was one happy Mr. (I know, I'm such a good girlfriend, right?). We were sitting in our seats, waiting for the show to start, when we somehow got on the subject of hair. My hair, specifically, and how it's getting so long, but I'm not going to cut it until we get married, if we ever get married. And it was then, sitting in the audience of the boobie show, that he told me I should go pick out a ring. Or, actually, he offered to go ring shopping with me, but since he can't even stand to shop for himself (I do all his clothes shopping for him), I offered to just go with my mom to pick it out, and let him know what I selected.

(After eating at Casa di Amore, before heading to the show, photo by the limo driver)

Now for those of you who like a surprise, this might not have been a great moment for you, but The Mr. and I know each other so well, I was on cloud 9 to be asked to pick my own ring. I wasn't 100% sure when I'd get it, but I was super stoked to get to pick, since The Mr's taste in jewelry is probably jewelry that tastes good...like a ring pop or a candy necklace!

I'd known for, well, years that I wanted a three stone princess cut ring, with some bling on the band. After an afternoon browsing several stores with my ex-BFF, I discovered Verragio. Pretty much every one of his rings is sooo hot, and I wanted them all! After scowering the website and narrowing it down to about 9 of his rings I wanted to see in person, I went with my mom and aunt to the store in San Francisco with the biggest selection of Verragio rings. The sales lady at Steve Padis was super helpful, and led me to my wonderful ENG-0283 (ohhh, such a romantic name, LOL). I promptly went home and made a flyer with pictures and all the details for The Mr. and snuck it onto his computer desktop one night, for him to discover at his leisure.

Now, mind you, this was back at the end of November 2008 that I found my dream ring. I really had no idea when I'd actually get it, but had hinted heavily that I didn't want it for Christmas (our families don't live close enough for us to spend it together), and he knows that I think Valentine's Day is a joke of a holiday. But, we were going to Mexico for a friend's wedding at the end of February, wouldn't that be romantic, hint, hint, HINT!

So, off we went to Puerto Vallarta, attended our friend's lovely wedding, went on a boat and snorkel trip to Las Caletas, lounged on the beach, went zip lining through the jungle, went to the most awesome zoo where we fed bears, monkeys, giraffes and zebras, and I got to play with a 2 month old baby lion and 4 month old jaguar. It was day 7 of our 11 day trip, and I was starting to wonder, was I going to get my ring? Of course I didn't ask, but I was starting to have doubts, since it seemed I would have seen it in the safe or something?

(Me playing with the baby jaguar and lion, photo taken by The Mr.)

So on day 7 of our trip, we were off on another snorkel trip, which turned out to be a bit of a disappointment, since we didn't get much time for snorkeling and never went in search of whales, as was advertised. We also got back about 1.5 hours late, so we decided to just have dinner at the hotel and take it easy for the night. We ate and then went back to our room to try out our jacuzzi. For that night and the next we were staying in the honeymoon suite at one of the 4 hotels we stayed in, and had an awesome wrap around terrace with our own private jacuzzi.

(Our jacuzzi and private terrace, photo taken by me)

To set the mood, just imagine bubbles, champagne, a warm jacuzzi on a warm night, stars in the sky, twinkling city lights in the distance....a very nice night on vacation! After we were done using the jacuzzi, we decided to put on bathrobes and sip some more champagne on the loungers at the other end of our terrace. We were sitting there for a while, just looking at the stars, when at one point The Mr. reached in the pocket of his robe, and suddenly I realized what was about to happen! He came around to my lounger, and got on his knee and asked me if I was happy, and said he wanted to make me happy for the rest of my life....or something along those lines! Once I knew it was coming I was too excited to pay very close attention. Of course I said yes....or maybe si, since we'd been speaking so much Spanish all week! It was exactly 1 month before our 6 year dating anniversary, and it was perfect!

Some sunset ring pictures taken the next night (apparently he'd hidden the ring in the bottom of his tennis shoe that we'd used all week to store our passports and cell phones in, inside the safe!):

The Mr. and I celebrating the next night (can you tell I'm showing off my ring behind his beer?!):

Were you surprised when your fiance proposed, even if you picked out the ring yourself?

I took these pictures earlier this summer, after reading a Weddingbee Pro article on the best ways to capture the beauty of your engagement ring in a photo. The main key is to take your ring off, and then experiment with the macro setting on your camera.

Le sigh!

How many of you ladies have tried your hand at an engagement ring photo shoot?